We still have two months before the election happens, but Donald Trump is gaining ground on Hillary Clinton in the polls.
Now is a good time to invest in an insurance plan in case we wake up on November 9th to the horrifying news that the man who would violate multiple Constitutional amendments, plus date his daughter if he could, will be the 45th President of the United States. There are super cheap one way flights to Oslo from New York City, Fort Lauderdale, Los Angeles, Boston, Oakland, Las Vegas, and San Juan, Puerto Rico all leaving within a week of the Presidential Election.
While he won’t officially become President until January 20, 2017, you’ll need as much time as possible once you leave the
soon to be apocalyptic wasteland land of the free and home of the brave to find a new home, learn how to grow your own food in case the entire world is plunged into nuclear winter, and begin the process of grieving over your soon-to-be deceased, imprisoned, or enslaved family and friends you left behind in America.
Norway is an excellent place to seek refuge from Donald Trump once he has his hands on the nuclear launch codes. It has some of the best public healthcare and education programs in the world. Its people are fluent in English, and while socially awkward at times, they are warm enough when you get to know them. Plus, Norway’s mountainous and desolate terrain makes it a safer alternative to big overcrowded cities, which are susceptible to disease and more prone to rioting because of food shortages (you’ll want to leave Oslo and head north as soon as possible).
Also, the Global Seed Vault in Svalbard contains a sizeable reserve of crop seeds to plant and harvest food in the aftermath of Trump’s annihilation of 90% of the world’s population, which will surely put a major dent in the global food supply.
For more information on applying for asylum in Norway, visit the Norwegian Directorate of Immigration.
Don’t forget to pack warm weather gear and photographs of your favorite old haunts back in the good ol’ US of A so you can show your future children what freedom used to look like before Donald took over and detonated the country into smithereens with his tiny little hands, just like he did to most of his business ventures. Below are the flight deals:
Nov 14 on Norwegian for 1390 NOK ($168)
Nov 14 on Norwegian for 1268 NOK ($154)
Nov 15 on Norwegian for 1821 NOK ($221)
Nov 11 on Norwegian for 1268 NOK ($154)
Nov 17 on Norwegian for 1221 NOK ($148)
Nov 15 on Norwegian for 1763 NOK ($214)
San Juan, Puerto Rico:
Nov 13 on Norwegian for 1582 NOK ($192)
In case you’re an optimist and don’t think Trump will be elected president, get free updates on cheap flights between the US and Europe and sign up on facebook or subscribe for my daily email newsletter here.
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